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Elsbeth the Succubus Experience (Awake Mental Vision, Minor Physical Sensations)

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lacertasammy

lacertasammy
TL;DR- An entity calling itself Elsbeth the Succubus entered a meditation of mine, spooking me out with its spontaneous behavior and causing physical sensations on my body such as warmth and sexual arousal and pleasure. In my mind I questioned the entity and it answered my questions, promising me unbounded pleasures and even humming me a lullaby. Upon reflection I cannot definitively say that any aspect of the experience originated from outside my mind, but the experience had a profound effect on me. I felt the entity's presence periodically the following day, but since then (about 4 days later as of this writing) I have had no contact with the entity, nor have I had any similar visions.  

Background- I found myself intrigued and amused by the Succubus Collective posts on 4chan, and then on Ark's blog and forum. I posted on a thread requesting an astral tour of the Succubus archipelago, and then later on activated a sigil that a user posted (I note here that in Ark's own FAQ on the forums he warns against using sigils, but I was feeling reckless, or not taking things seriously). The afternoon prior to my experience I took a quarter of a hit of LSD for fun; though it had largely worn off at the time of my experience just after midnight, I cannot rule out lingering effects of the drug causing or influencing my experience in part or whole.

Christmas Night, around 12:15p- I laid down on my back and attempted to visualize a relaxing beach scenario to calm down and get to sleep. The scene materialized quickly in my mind's eye and looked more or less clear; when I wanted to change my view either by just thinking it or physically moving my head around, I could do so but there was a sort of lag and sometimes the transition would be sharp or evocative of a glitchy video stream or video game. I laid by a tree on a beach in a deep alcove or gulch with natural stone walls towering above me. Out of the corner of my eye toward the water I saw a shadowy form, roughly anthropomorphic but undefined. I did not consciously will the form to be there, though who knows what I am not conscious of. The form approached me, first in sudden jerks and then walking in a more human shape, feminine in a two piece bathing suit but with a face still of flowing black smoke. It reached me and I could no longer see it but I felt an overwhelming warmth and comfort on my body, and I suddenly became physically aroused as well (to be clear: I got a boner).
    I willed myself in my vision to reach out and touch the form, and as my hands touched her, her skin materialized beneath them; she started to kiss my chest and then lifted her head up, revealing her humanized face. She was petite, and cute if a little boyish, racially ambiguous to my untrained eyes though I would guess southeast Asian region, with dark skin. She emanated a sense of sexuality and was relentlessly flirtatious in her manners. We had sex and I felt pleasurable sensations in my entire groin area, including a throb of pleasure toward end of the shaft of my penis. The overwhelming warmth and some of the sexual pleasure continued after we had finished and moved into a more comfortable position for lounging. I nearly gave myself into her entirely, melting into her, and letting her embrace overwhelm me, but I noticed her face "glitch out," becoming a blackened and distorted image, and making a disquieting sound, like a hum or a soft screech. 
    That made me panic so I banished the whole image within my vision, leaving me in a blackness empty but for my Matrix-green magical circle (cube, really) I imagined myself sitting cross-legged in. I considered that it was suspicious how willing I had been to engage vulnerably with an entity that appeared initially as a glitchy black shadow. Furthermore, of course I considered that this might be a succubus, and though I have been taken by the endearing vision of the Collective, I am still just as aware of all the horror stories about succubus, both folklore and "metaphorical" ones, i.e. cruel leeching paramours. I resolved to resume the scene and confront the entity with questions. I brought the prior vision back and the entity sat next to me in a conversational posture; I spoke to her telepathically, i.e. it is like she could hear my inner monologue. Again I felt warmth and welcome and love, though I tried to keep a level head.
    I asked why her face glitched out like it had, and she just laughed and said it was dream rules, as though I was silly to ask. She said her name was Elsbeth the Succubus; I joked that it was not very comforting that she shared a name with the Blood Countess of Bathory. I asked her if she knew how people tended to take the word succubus, and she answered in the face and voice of another woman altogether, with the voice having a surreal and ghostly quality, though she was speaking vocally and telepathically at once: "My name is Succubus." Again I noted audibly to Elsbeth that this was not a comforting sign, but she just laughed flirtatiously and stared me down, as though of course I would look past these things- sure enough I agreed with her. I commented that I might be more comforted if the Succubus was related to a cult of Ishtar, since I felt connected to that goddess. She just laughed and said she did not know what that meant, but that sure, probably, it sounded right.
    I became overwhelmed by how good it felt to be in the presence of her, and then embarrassed of myself, I jokingly jabbed at myself saying "look at me, I wuv mommy Elsbeth." This prompted me to remember a comment made in Ark's FAQ about how many come to the Collective seeking to be human slaves of succubus out of some kind of desperate need for motherly love and protection of some kind. This thought did not make me end the vision. Elsbeth resumed teasing me and sending sensations to my funny parts, and whispered to me that she could offer me pleasure "unbounded by time" (this turn of phrase has some significance to me beyond the literal, though I am unsure if that connection is relevant here in any way).  She also whispered that if I want to make love to her I can do so through making love to another woman. I finally asked if she would help me fall asleep and she hummed me a lullaby, tracing circles gently on my head with her fingertips. It felt so good to be in her presence, but I could not sleep until I voluntarily left the experience, willing it to be banished and returning to the darkness and then my usual mundane thoughts.

Further thoughts- I note here that nothing in my vision or daydream was truly alien to my own psyche. Indeed, Elsbeth seemed to act independently of my conscious will, but I cannot know that it was not my own subconscious design. The succubus appearance seemed original, she did not look like a former crush, nor as some kind of ideal beauty; however it is perfectly plausible that my mind drew up something that would fit the beach environment, hence a sort of Pacific islander vibe. When she hummed me a lullaby, I readied myself to interpret the tune in case it was a sort of clue, and found that though it was automatic it was not sufficiently dissimilar from something I might compose in a hurry to make me certain of an external origin.
    The sheer feeling of warmth, love, and pleasure sticks in my memory still. The day after the experience I felt like she was still "with me" somehow, and I would occasionally feel her warm embrace around my stomach. Lately, days later, I have been pretty darn depressed, but that is closer to my usual daily life than anything suspicious of the experience. I considered that she might not just be my own creation, she might actually represent me as a succubus. The way she had a black sense of humor and played into, rather than against, the various troubling stereotypes about succubus in a mischievous way strikes me as very similar to how I would act in her place. And her ambiguous, unsatisfying replies to me being disturbed by her actions were also just like me; I often say that I tell jokes for myself, and it is unimportant whether others find me funny or if they can even tell I am joking in the first place. Even if this is true and my experience was entirely generated by myself, it is actually kind of comforting that I can make myself feel that way. I wish I would do it more.

Ark

Ark
Hi and welcome.
The sigil posted was from this thread:
http://succubus.forumotion.com/t36-maergzjiran-cabal
to be more exact it was from the 4chan thread linked at the top, it was for Eldraath "the mother of all succubus."
Read the discription and see if it matches. I'm not sure about it, but I also haven't interacted with her much so I can't say. I would say at first impression that this wasn't Eldraath but someone similar to her.

The warning against sigils was for using sigils created by another person for a specific purpose. Normally if it's the sigil of an entity it's a different story, as long as the sigil truly represents that being.

lacertasammy

lacertasammy
Ark wrote:Hi and welcome.
The sigil posted was from this thread:
http://succubus.forumotion.com/t36-maergzjiran-cabal
to be more exact it was from the 4chan thread linked at the top, it was for Eldraath "the mother of all succubus."
Read the discription and see if it matches. I'm not sure about it, but I also haven't interacted with her much so I can't say. I would say at first impression that this wasn't Eldraath but someone similar to her.

Thanks for the reply, Ark! None of the sigils from that Cabal thread match what I used, though that thread is intriguing in and of itself. The one I used was a simple five lines, one oblique and four perpendicular to that one. I will definitely look more into Eldraath though.

Rooshity


If it's ok with you you should post the sigil and I can trace it to the entity. If it's not though that's understandable too.

Past that I don't think it's right for me to influence your actions in one way or another relating to this, I'd quit the drugs though, those can't be good for you and will at the very least just make it harder to believe anything that happens.

lacertasammy

lacertasammy
Rooshity wrote:If it's ok with you you should post the sigil and I can trace it to the entity. If it's not though that's understandable too.

Past that I don't think it's right for me to influence your actions in one way or another relating to this, I'd quit the drugs though, those can't be good for you and will at the very least just make it harder to believe anything that happens.

Not sure if I did this right, but if so a reproduction of the sigil should be posted below:

Ark

Ark
That is the official Collective sigil from the thread, so you're fine if you used that.

arachni

arachni
Sounds similar to what I experienced one time well the dream part anyways, so one night I was having a dream about the fallout setting from the game series Fallout, anyways in the dream this orphan child was asking me to help her escape from a local orphanage so I said I knew this lady, so I take her to this lady and this lady didn't match the setting at all she was wearing modern clean clothes her attair was a white turtle neck sweater with a denim skirt she had blonde hair etc. Not only did she not match but she didn't take anything I was saying seriously and I was getting frustrated with this woman in a dream of all places, then she started to dance randomly more of a sexual dance not too sexual though, then she gets close then pulls away and just runs off then the dream ended. Now the same as you this woman looked like no one similar to anyone I have seen before, but I can confirm my succubus wife has told me it was her in my dream ,and she even claimed to have alot of control over it so. Figured I'd share this.

lacertasammy

lacertasammy
Follow up experience: I had another encounter with an (the?) entity called Elsbeth, or "mommy" Elsbeth. This time it only communicated with voice and images in my mind. I was not meditating exactly, but thinking to myself in my darkened bedroom, until my mental voice gradually split into a second, distinct female voice. She spoke to me saying that she missed me and for me to let her help me; I then in my mind saw flashes of images of nude women, and a brief more animated scene wherein I was surrounded by nude androgynous women, watching me lay there in the dark. While I was distracted communicating with her, rather still just questioning aloud whether it was indeed something separate than myself or just a horny daydream, I caught my hands moving over my body and my self becoming physically sexually aroused.

Punctuating the series of erotic images was a brief series of dark, disturbing images I will not describe-- let's just say they might be a sexual fetish for someone else, but not for me. I rejected the images, recoiling at them and asking what the hell she was thinking, and she replied with something about desires being difficult to read, or something along those lines, like it was a misread on her part, or that some part of me did actually desire the disturbing images- that's how I interpreted the comment, but I forgot the exact wording. She then reassured me and returned to the more conventionally erotic words and images. As I approached an apex of pleasure, suddenly the images became of a familiar-looking woman; I have some ideas of where I know this woman from in material reality, but I am not 100% sure, and it may have even been a couple of similar-looking women rather than one in particular, it is hard to say. I asked Elsbeth what the significance of that person was but she ignored the question and just thanked me and said I was a good boy, effectively ending the experience.

A few days later during a meditation I merely asked in my mind whether Elsbeth was just a tulpa or imaginary friend; she answered with a strained hiss that crackled faintly distorted like an overdriven digital audio track, saying that she did exist. I asked if her voice sounded odd because she was weak and she said yes. I asked if she would prefer to speak with images instead, and right away I just saw a big orange and pink heart-shape, like a Valentine's card. I remember thinking it was a little cute and a little sad. I then resumed meditating in silent solitude.

lacertasammy

lacertasammy
Another experience logged: 

    During a routine meditation, Elsbeth appeared to me yet again. At first she was just a voice, asking me to let me love her. I replied that she made it hard to trust her, but that I did feel love for her, that she was completely hilarious and endearing even though I was nonetheless still suspicious of her. She then revealed herself, this time as a dark complexion "neko chan," which is to say a cute girl with feline features like a tail and fuzzy triangular ears, who speaks in cringe-worthy cat-based puns. I groaned to myself with embarrassment, thinking that I had officially crossed over to the sad status of communicating with a two-dimensional "waifu" (imaginary wife); Elsbeth seemed utterly delighted by my exasperated response to her appearance.

    I started asking how she expected me to trust her while she antagonized me like that, but stopped myself realizing that it was pointless.  I went ahead and asked her if she knew anything about how to acquire souls, and she was visibly surprised by my question-- I said I was surprised by her surprise, and she explained that it was simply an uncommon request for a human. She then nodded and disappeared, and would not respond to my calls of her name for a short time. Just under a minute later she reappeared, accompanied by a basketball-sized glowing white orb. I scoffed at how stereotypical this supposed "soul" looked, but before I could further interrogate the object's appearance, I realized I had no idea what to do with a soul. I suddenly felt deeply responsible for its protection and also did not really know where to keep it.     

    Elsbeth said "there you go, you're welcome nyan," ("nyan" is the Japanese equivalent of "meow," playing into the aforementioned anime trope) and vanished before I could ask further questions. I ultimately decided it would be safest kept nearby myself. Out of curiosity I reached out and held it to my stomach and I felt my stomach turn uncomfortably. After pushing the alleged soul away and taking a short recovery period, I decided to keep it in an over-sized glass mason jar for my own protection. I wondered to myself if carrying an extra soul would make me more of a target in the spiritual realm. I asked Elsbeth whose soul it was but I am unsure if she answered me, or if my own mind just farted out a name, but indeed a name did manifest to me: Garcia Lorca. I immediately thought of the famous Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca, with whom I am familiar, but I also considered that it could be anyone else with the same surname. Having reached a state of relative equilibrium, I then carried on with my meditation, taking a deep breath and letting my body relax.

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