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1 General Experiences Repository on Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:02 am

Rooshity


I'd like to open this topic by stating the post's purpose. While I'm certainly looking for any insights and information you guys might have about my experiences, I am also doing this just as much to put this information in a place that I can personally reference for the sake of memory. While many experiences may be hard to forget, many aren't so hard to forget, and especially as I become more familiar with the situation and understand the entity, the exoticism will wear away, and things will be harder to remember by their very nature. Even as I write this I know many things that have happened likely will not make it into this, because I haven't been writing my experiences down as they happen. Hopefully this will be the start of changing that, but regardless I want to get down what I can remember now so as to not forget it later.

Secondly, I think it's important to explain how I went into this. I did have strong intent and wanted it to happen, but a big part of it involved learning. I understood I had to give my all as it were, and still do to keep things going, but I want to be very clear that going into this that, despite my strong intent and everything else necessary being there, I had been an agnostic. Emphasis here on 'had been'. As an agnostic I thought the most logical way to learning the answers to my questions was to simply get out and do something like this and give it my all. After all, what scientist would simply sit on a hypothesis and not prove it? I had before me an opportunity to truly test that hypothesis, and a reason for it that gave me the intent I needed: I was seeking companionship past just a sexual relationship. The average quality of women in the Americas is at an all time low, and though my sexual needs could be met, I needed a companion that was more than that. A partner who could be with me and know me on a level deeper than those shallow relationships would allow. Such is what drove the intent for the letter I wrote, and it was probably that intent alone that drove my success.

So let's start from the beginning then. This wasn't a move I'd made hastily: in fact I'd been thinking about it for nearly a year. I found Ryan's blog in January of 2017 and truly tried to understand the consequences and needed attention that would be required of me before I made my move. Over those months I built up my intent and tried to practice meditation (I was, pretty shit at it. I'm better now... but improvement is still needed), decided on my motivations, and decided to make my move Mid October.

I did the ritual despite burning my hand trying to use some shitty matches, and nothing happened. Now, I didn't immediately dismiss it right then, and decided I'd give it a month or two before giving it one more go. After all, I was pretty bad at meditation and did burn myself, which affected my concentration, and I knew the effects weren't always immediate (or, if they were, I may not have been able to sense them).

So one week passed by, and I'd completely put it out of my mind. I'd like to make that point perfectly clear, at least to myself. I wasn't on edge and expecting something to pop up at any corner. If I thought about it, it was about how I'd have to reattempt it later on. I was getting ready for class that particular morning and not giving it any thought at all, which is when strange things did start happening. It wasn't anything extremely out of the ordinary: an odd sound that, had I not been looking at the dog, I would have thought was him just messing around. A strange shadow I thought I'd seen behind me as I left, and some other things. individually I felt like they could be written up as coincidences, but together it seemed unlikely, and they'd tickled me in a different way. So I banked that in my mind and went to class. When I got home there didn't seem to be anything extremely out of the ordinary, but I was curious and open to the idea, so I thought I'd do my best to meditate and converse with her, if she was there. It was at this time I could swear I heard answers to my questions seemingly as I formulated them in my mind, and each answer didn't ever feel like a thought of my own, and it was at this point I seemingly learned her name, which I will not divulge here. So I decided I'd issue one final proof, and I said out loud that if she really existed, I wanted her to be in a dream that night. I woke up the next morning in shock because I had had that dream, with a girl in it who was both unfamiliar and familiar at the same time: someone I'd never seen before for sure, but still seeming to want to be close. It was surreal.

But what am I getting crazy about over a dream, right? Though my 'test' had been answered, doubt did remain for quite a while. Such is the curse of skepticism, and though she proved herself time and time again, doubt always did pester me. Yet things eventually did happen that removed my doubt.

The most common thing is something I can cover briefly. at times, whether I'm awake or tired and regardless of what I'm doing, I will feel sharp feelings at points in my head. these are not like headaches, more like sharp 'pokes' against my head. They don't usually hurt per se, but they're very noticeable. This was not something that happened before the ritual, and I've theorized it's connected to her trying to communicate with me or something of the sort.

The next most common seems to be her presence within dreams. They tend to take two forms: when she seems to be herself, and when she's playing the part of another. The latter seems to be more common: she's usually playing a part of another character or entity within the dream, yet the one she is typically breaks the dream somehow. As an example, in one instance she displayed more power than me in a situation in a dream I was having, which is something that never happened before (when I'm a badass in my dreams, I'm always the ultimate badass, as I assume is the case for most peoples' dreams). She's always a center of attention somehow, and captures my attention more than the others in my dreams, as if she's more fleshed out in some way, like an entity instead of a creation of my mind. I'm always attracted in the dream to whichever girl she's playing: be it a girl based on girls I've seen before or not. She also seems to have favorites to go with, though this could perhaps be a result of my mind molding those characters more often, and she just going with those as a result, or she may be using them more often so that I can more easily recognize her. It could go either way or could be both.

When she's herself it's a different matter. Though she doesn't always look the same, she seems to have pretty distinct traits, like white hair that is very bright. She often talks to me in my dreams, and in one instance she sat down and sang to me (in the dream I believed the song to be beautiful, though after the dream I could not remember the lyrics, just the tune, yet I am confident there were lyrics), which seemed weird at the time because, though I'd heard music in my dreams before (usually just common tunes in the background), I had never been sung to nor had any of the songs I'd heard have words. In that particular instance it seemed like her body was in flux, like it was changing, though her face remained the same. She was also with others similar to her who seemed to ignore me and keep to their own devices, their bodies shifting too. I had approached her from behind while she was in that group and turned her around by the shoulder, and she immediately smiled as she saw me. As an aside, that seems to be the most common way I approach her in the dreams: by walking up to her and turning her towards me. I'm not sure why, but it's another common thread.

The third I wish to talk about is the touches. she's done it on command seemingly once when I laid in meditation and commanded it, but other than that it's been pretty random but typically when I'm resting (or I guess when she wants attention). It's always on the palm of one of my hands, and it feels like a light fingernail rubbing slightly against my palms. It's very noticeable, and there's not much more to say than that. I can never seem to predict which hand it will be though, even when I try to.

So what's all that then? Some dreams, touches, mental 'pokes'. What kind of evidence is that? Why would that convince you? If that was all, I'd've been in that same boat: after all, the mind is an interesting thing, and it can pull tricks like that. Well, that's not everything.

Before I list out my next two points, I'd like to make it very clear that I'm not nor have I ever been on any drugs, medicinal or otherwise, or anything that could cause me to hallucinate, and I do not have a history of hallucination or anything even closely related. I have a clean bill of mental health, have never been involved in any crazy religious institutions that get their followers to psyche themselves up (again, I was agnostic), and do not have a history that would lead me to believe I would see things that do not exist. I don't even bloody drink and never have. I'm a full on teetotaler and absolutely no fun at parties.

What seems to have been manifestation has happened twice. The first time was in the morning, seemingly after I'd waken up. as I opened my eyes and turned sideways, I could swear I saw what looked like a bit of a transparent person: distinct, surely, as a girl, but ethereal. One word ringed through my head when I saw her: 'hey': a simple greeting that rang through my head with the force of a bell, and I knew it was not a thought of my own: though it didn't make sound, it was as if I 'heard' it in my head. I immediately lost my cool and buried my head back in the pillow, facing a fear of the unknown that I was not prepared for, though part of me tried to answer her and speak back despite this. I sincerely regret having reacted in that way, but with my lack of experience and the fact I'd just woken up, it wasn't that surprising I'd immediately bury my head in my pillow.

Now, to be fair, that first one did not clear all doubt, because of one nagging thing: I'd just woken up, or so I thought. perhaps it was a false awakening and a dream? The second time, about a month and a half later, would have no such pretense. I was fully awake and making dinner: not even that tired at all. I was alone except for the pets, and had admittedly been thinking about the situation. I leaned down and jokingly asked the dog if they had any sense for spirits, saying if they had any at all it'd probably be better than mine, and jokingly asking if they could be aware of and possibly see entities like her. Well, as soon as I stood up, there she was, standing still and seemingly simply observing me in the corner of the room, not 'saying' anything. Though there was fear, I stood my ground and looked at her the best I could: she was as if mist took a human-like form, and was clearly a girl and in a familiar and recognizable form. I'd seen nothing like it before. All the lights were on, and it wasn't in the corner of my eye: it was in full view, for probably half a minute, a little more than a meter away. It then dispersed and was gone, as if the mist separated and just ceased existing. I was in awe, and never had doubt of her existence from that point on.

With all that being said, I'd like to add a couple brief other little things that I don't think I need to go into as much detail on.
Sexual: Happened once, and was basically just like Ryan described. Seemed to directly follow an intended 'special moment', and the prostate tingling was very distinct and kind of odd, but it's hard to scare me with a boner no matter how fast it goes up, so I kept my cool on that one and enjoyed it for what it was intended to be. The relationship isn't sexual at its base so much as it is companionship based, but there's that tone brought into it here and there for obvious reasons.
different dreams: there was a brief period where I was doubting the whole situation (not the existence of it, but other reasons that I won't delve into), and I got different, sadder dreams during this time. They still included her, but she would not acknowledge me or speak to me, and I essentially chased after her, unable to get to her or stop her. These ceased and the normal kind came back when I got past the situation. these happened three times for the three nights I was doubting.
Other: She seems to follow up high levels of activity (especially the two manifestations, but also several dreams close to each other and other forms of activity) with periods of inactivity during which I only get the occasional poke. I suppose she's resting at those points? I don't have much insight into this, but it seems noteworthy to bring up anyway.
I'm also working on lucid dreaming. I'm shit at that too.

That's all for now, if any of you who are still around here have input, please let me know your thoughts. I'm off to bed for now Sleep

2 Re: General Experiences Repository on Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:45 am

Ark

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I don't have much to add really, you seem to have a good connection with her early on. What you are describing sounds pretty normal.
The one thing I'll mention is: try getting her to practice telepathy with you in an orderly fashion. Not just words but with images. Ask her to show you something, and then you visualize something for a reply and project it on her. Keep your mind blank when waiting for her to send you an image. Do this back and forth until you can do it without effort. Then you can practice words and sentences, as if it was a phone call. When you get better at this you can contact her anytime and keep full conversations and include your own ideas as images directly and get full visuals in return. That's a beginning step.

I don't know if this next part has been mentioned in Ryan's blog or old forum, but further ahead are things like allowing partial possession in which she enters your body and can speak directly in your head, as well as control your body in cooperation with you. That is an advanced stage and not something you should try at first, but it's something to be aware of. It's adviced against unless you know her well, you wouldn't want a foreigner in your own head with control of your body, but I think it should be informed of because this possibility exists. You also need good control of yourself first. It can be beneficial because succubus have unique knowledge and understandings which you wouldn't easily be able to understand through verbal communication alone, you have to see it directly from their view to know.

3 Re: General Experiences Repository on Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:05 pm

Rooshity


Thanks for the expedient reply Ark. judging by your other postings here, you seem quite knowledgeable on the subject. So I'd like to shoot a few questions at you, if that's alright.

1. This one is the most immediately relevant. I've been working on lucid dreaming (something I seem to also be quite shit at), to bolster communication. I've been getting better at getting into it, but there have been no standout successes as of yet. Do you have any advice for this in particular?
2.Was I on the money when I mentioned that she is most likely resting between times of heavy activity? I'd assume things, especially the manifestations, would take effort, but I'm not exactly sure on what level she operates.
3. I mentioned a dream where there seemed to be others like her. There were about 3 or 4 others with that 'body shifting' attribute. It's very hard to describe since I'd never had that dream before and knew immediately the one I ended up talking to was her. In the dream the others left us alone, but I could tell they were similar. Are these likely also succubi, or was it probably just my own mind taking liberties with the dream? And if so, why were they hanging around? Just observing?
4. In another thread you mentioned the dangers of the usage of blood in the ritual. Is this aimed more at people who are susceptible to hauntings (due to weak wills or otherwise), or is it just a general risk increase? I never seemed to get haunted as far as I could tell, but I did make sure to very forcefully close out the ritual and any other time blood was used with as strong a will as I could muster. I know this and the next question are a tad off topic, but I do want to increase my general knowledge too.
5. On a related note to 4, my friend suffered from what I believed was a haunting due to things he had been up to. I won't go into detail, but I believe he had brought the ire of Lilith/succubi upon him due to some snooping he was doing. For about 3 months his mood went straight down, as if he was depressed. Yet when he made some sort of forgiveness offering specifically to Lilith, the problem immediately went away. This is less related to my situation of course, but any insight would be nice.
6. Last, if you have anything else to add about my situation or just general advice, I'd love to hear it. I have much else I want to talk about, but I don't want to drown you in questions and experiences, so I'd like to save those for later.

4 Re: General Experiences Repository on Thu Feb 15, 2018 11:40 am

Ark

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I'm just going to address what you asked without any specific order, since some questions overlap.

I'm not sure about the dream related parts. If someone is near me and showing interest they may appear in a dream and play some kind of dominating role within the events of the dream. I don't think you should put too much focus on the other parts of it, deams are filled with "static", the interaction with her is the important part.

Succubus tend to be active one period and rest after, this is normal.

A succubus is not interested in blood, so using it will send a mixed message, you're likely to attracts nasties because they like offerings like that. It should be obvious what body fluid a succubus would be interested in, right? It isn't blood. This idea of the blood ritual is probably one of the most stubborn I've come across, people never seem to learn. It's been an ongoing thing on 4chan/x/ with anons talking about doing a blood ritual and every time they get haunted, or even turn insane, to the point it became a meme.

But after hearing this, people still react by saying "Oh, really....? I guess I'll do a blood ritual anyway, how should I do it?"
It's a mystery to me why it's so hard for people to understand this warning.

Offering something to a succubus can work because they treat it as a deal. If you give something, you get something of equal value.

5 Re: General Experiences Repository on Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:18 pm

Rooshity


Yeah, I see what you’re saying about the blood thing. I just wasn’t Aware of the risks with it up front, assuming if I closed everything properly then the issue would be solved. I’ve offered her a few gifts since the initial thing too, though unfortunately that has been forced to stop as of late, at least for a little while. I’ll certainly take your advice and stay away from that.

As for the dream, I only bring it up because they seemed distinct like she was though I didn’t interact with them. When I say their body was shifting I mean so in a very specific way, like before my eyes and not so much ‘I turn around and they’re a different person’. It’s very hard to describe, I just found it odd.

Does this group have a small chat room on discord or something? I’d love to talk to you or others involved and learn more about your experiences, even after reading some more around here. After all, I’ve still got a lot to learn, and I don’t want to keep bothering you too much in here.

6 Re: General Experiences Repository on Mon Mar 19, 2018 4:12 am

Rooshity


Tonight seems like a good night to drop an update. Things have carried on as they were. I've made... slight progress towards lucid dreaming and further telepathy, but no huge strides yet. I also looked around fringe some and joined their discord. They're a bit of an odd sort but so far they've been helpful, though it raised a few questions.

I took your advice and didn't use blood anymore, switching to semen just to make a gift as I'm accustomed to doing on occasion. She seemed to react much better to that, and wouldn't leave me alone for 2 days, before going back to the usual level of interaction. it was very much nonstop, and I appreciated it though at times I did have to tell her to cut it out for a bit.

Anyway, I was wondering about some theory some of the people on fringe walk around with. Some of them seem to think Succubi are 'thoughtforms', which I gather are essentially what you'd get if an imaginary friend could become real, born of some heavy concentration or something. I'm not very into the idea of them being a thing in the first place, but presuming they are for the validity of this conversation, I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to get a succubus and ended up with a thoughtform considering the necessary ingredients aren't that different. That's the interpretation I'm going with now (if they even exist), but if you disagree with that or have another opinion on the matter, please let me know, as you understand more about this stuff than I do.

7 Re: General Experiences Repository on Mon Mar 19, 2018 11:01 am

Ark

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The /fringe/ community has their recommended reading list and this leads to a lot of them having certain views. Many seem to come there not based on experience, but rather interest, so they learn the theories first. For those who didn't experience something first hand, they'll go by what they read in a book to explain it when they hear of it, and they may start arguing based on that very stubbornly. People like that get the label "armchair occultist" if they persist. So sometimes you get people like that, don't argue with them, just learn to recognize the behaviour and ignore them.

A lot of people have the concept that things in the astral plane doesn't exist through its own power, but rather that it's created by humans. This thinking in my opinion is based on ideas developed in the early 1900s when scientists were discussing the nature of energy and if the human mind could survive the death of the body. This is where a lot of the /fringe/ wizards are at. They're building on that body of research.


The succubus community tends to relate back to the christian religion, with mythology such as the first succubus being Lilith, Adams first rebellious wife, and the stories of the pope who supposedly had a succubus.
http://www.propheticmysteries.com/2016/07/meridiana-succubus-that-was-lover-of.html
With this comes the adoption of the concept that the human soul is eternal and the existence of both demonic and angelic entities. So when you're going into the /fringe/ community, you'll experience the clash between fringe science and christianity/judaism, where the scientists are still trying to confirm the existence of the eternal soul, while the christian (and succubus) community takes this for granted. So those of the scientific viewpoint tend to explain spirits as the creation of the human mind, and they're correct as far as tulpas and egregores go. Though an egregore is a collective form created throught the interaction of many people. An online community itself is an egregore, since it doesn't have a physical meeting place. A tulpa is a mere mental contruct of one person.
http://tulpa.info/

Here we treat succubus as entities existing out of their own power, created by the universe or born of a succubus mother, and their lives are not dependent on human activities. You don't need to argue with anyone from /fringe/ about this, just be aware of the difference in understandings.

8 Re: General Experiences Repository on Sun Apr 01, 2018 1:52 am

Rooshity


Ah, now that was an interesting story. I checked it out in a few other places as well. I wish we had more details on their interactions aside from that bronze head part of it.

Do you know of any other stories with interesting insights like that one?

9 Re: General Experiences Repository on Wed May 09, 2018 3:42 am

Rooshity


I haven't been able to make an update on here in a while, due to just constant busy time. Now that I've reached graduation and have a little time to myself, it seems like a good time to recap the happenings as of late and plan for the future.

Things as of late have been generally stable. She's gotten upset a few times over mainly me flirting with some other girls, which I have a history of doing for fun. When she's mad she seems to mainly be quiet and intermittently poke me in the head to remind me she's mad. If it's a small thing I usually have just ignored it or told her to cut it out and she'd get over it in a day or two. Normal girls have done similar things in the past, so I feel like I've handled these as they've come up very well. It's also lead to some funny circumstances like when I was flirting with some girl who lives in Norway over the phone that my friend introduced me to, she didn't seem to understand that there was about half a world separating us. I've had to explain concepts like those, and she's seemed to pick up on it more or less.

Bigger things where I've found fault in myself are resolved more through discussion from my side and interactions that communicate emotions or thoughts from her's. I only just picked up reading one of the books you posted with exercises to increase concentration and eventually lead to invocation/evocation, so communication still remains the weak point. There were a few moments where I concentrated really hard before I began reading that book where I did get small bursts of results where I could 'hear' (for lack of a better term) her. Otherwise the interaction has been mainly physical. She touches my hands the most throughout the day, though will touch pretty much anywhere else. It feels like she hangs around and gets bored and does it so I'll talk to her. I oblige unless I'm so busy that I have to focus on what I'm doing.

The sexual side of things is still going strong. The frequency is sort of erratic, because some days I'll be too tired or she'll be resting herself. So we have some weeks where it can be every other night and some weeks where it's surprising if it happens once.

The dreams have sort of waned off. They come occasionally, but not too often. The frequency of touches relative to how it was before has gone up instead, so that may be part of why. It's a bit of a shame since I enjoyed them, but I suppose the trade-off is worth it considering I'm getting more tangible things instead.

As touched on above, the next goal is further concentration for establishing stronger communication, followed later assumingly by evocation or invocation (or whatever, I'm still inexperienced in these things, and I stopped reading the book once I got to exercise one). It's very clear she can manifest as she's done it before, but I think a physical meeting would be far more productive if it was mutually agreed upon instead of out of nowhere. Any further advice you can offer in relation to those would be most appreciated.

10 Re: General Experiences Repository on Wed Oct 31, 2018 6:35 am

Rooshity


Wow, the last post was way way way back in time. I guess it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and make another post, just to sum up all the stuff that has happened since then, for anyone who cares enough to check around here anymore. It is, after all, just after the 1 year anniversary of me starting down this road. I'll present it shortly, if anyone cares enough to ask for details I'll provide more info.

~Redacted turned out to be a fairy, not a succubus. I found that out very shortly after the last post.
~The ritual hadn't actually summoned her, she just used it as an excuse to reveal herself. From what I understand, pretty much anything would have done.
~Communication is great now, telepathy is easier done than said. Once you understand how it works, it becomes really easy to communicate. Similarly, meditation and concentration ability is much stronger.
~My occult abilities in general have greatly grown. There was a specific day during the summer (the solstice, actually) where stuff happened and I seemed to start rocketing ahead since then
~She offered me ownership of herself, which was sort of like our 'marriage' in my opinion. I gladly accepted. What exactly this entails has been a process of discovery, but it was the greatest gift she could have given me.
~We had a son, he turned out to be an asshole. I had to beat his ass and imprison him after my leniency ran out. Lots to this story.
~Have gotten it to the point where I can regularly see her visually. True physical manifestation still remains out of our grasp, but we'll probably get there some day.

This is a pretty short summary. If anyone around here is curious to know more, feel free to ask.

11 Re: General Experiences Repository on Fri Nov 02, 2018 6:06 pm

Bartlebee


Thank you for sharing the update!
(On Halloween, no less!)

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